Monday, August 8, 2011

Top 5 things I won’t miss about Madrid

Today is my 2 year anniversary in Madrid, how time flies! Unfortunately time is also flying me away from here pretty soon and, depressed as I am, I decided to make a list of the things I won’t miss to cheer myself up. Generally this blog is overwhelming positive so please excuse the quick sashay into the world of the negative. Promise to post a top 5 of things I will miss soon.

So here goes, The top 5 things I won’t miss about Madrid

Shop Assistants

Nuff said really, but just to elaborate in case you haven’t experienced Spanish customer service, it can be boiled down to one word – Shit.

People who can’t walk in a straight line

I’ve never heard anyone else complain about this but it seems to me that people here can’t walk in a straight line. The pavements are an obstacle of slow moving, careening human traffic. Pick a side and stick to it, jeez. Should I ever rise to power in Spanish politics (improbable) I will be implementing a 4 lane system on the pavements – 2 lanes per direction with a dedicated fast lane on both sides.

When they turn the escalator off in La Latina.

Worst. Climb. Ever.

People staring at me in metro

Though ironically, one of my favourite things in the metro is looking at the people around me as I am occasionally the tallest person in the metro. Amazing considering my statuesque height of 5,4. That said, though I enjoy a good gawp, I cannot stand people staring at me in metro. Yes, I have milk bottle skin, blond hair and blue eyes and I can see how that might be weird for you but seriously, have you seen the dwarves all around us?!

Oh My God / Hissing

Random groups of men who say ‘oh my god’ or hiss at me as I walk past. Yes, that’s how you will get my attention and friendship sirs. Jerks.

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